Is there anyone among us who doesn’t think Star Wars could use a little Nick Fury? (Source)
…it’s a universe with a well-established history of just cloning the shit out of people at the slightest excuse. Samuel L. Jackson could theoretically play every role in the next movie without it being that implausible, by Star Wars standards.
Holy shit I would pay twice the going rate for a movie ticket to see a film performed entirely by Samuel L. Jackson. I don’t even care what film. Star Wars, Pride & Prejudice, Sherlock Holmes, The Godfather…Any. Movie.
“From the first moment I met you, your arrogance and fucking conceit made me realize that you were the last motherfucker in the world I could ever be fucking prevailed upon to marry.”
It is a truth fucking universally acknowledged that a single motherfucker in possession of a giant motherfucking fortune must be in want of a goddamn wife.
“The fucking recollection of what I said—of my fucking conduct, my fucking manners, my motherfucking expressions during it, is now, and has been many fucking months, goddamned painful to me. Your reproof, I shall never fucking forget: ‘had you behaved like less of a motherfucker.’ Those were your goddamned words. You know not, you can scarcely fucking conceive, how they have tortured me.”
“Really, Watson, you fucking excel yourself,” said Holmes, pushing back his chair and lighting a cigarette. “I am bound to say that in all the fucking accounts which you have been so good as to give of my own small achievements you have fucking habitually underrated your own motherfucking abilities. It may be that you are not yourself fucking luminous, but you are a motherfucking conductor of light. Some people without possessing genius have a fucking remarkable power of stimulating it. I confess, my dear fellow, that I am very much in your fucking debt.”
Motherfucker, mama always said life was like a box of fucking chocolates. You never fucking know what you’re gonna get.
To fuck up a motherfucker or to not fuck up a motherfucker, that is the question.
Guys this is the kind of thinking that got Snakes On A Plane made
But soft! What fucking light through yon motherfucking window breaks! It is the fucking east, and that motherfucker Juliette is the fucking sun
“Harry, you’re a mothafuckin wizard.”
“Bitch, did I stutter?”
“A little motherfucking sea-bathing would set me up for fucking ever.”
“About three goddamn things I was absolfuckinglutely postive. First, Edward was a motherfucking vampire. Second, there was a part of his sparkly blood drinking ass — and shit if I know how strong that part of the cold bastard might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was fucking unconditionally, irrefuckinvocably, in motherfucking love with the pale ass blood drinking motherfucker. “
We want the finest motherfuckin’ cakes known to humanity. We want them fuckers here and we want them fuckers now!
“One day, and that fuckin’ day may never come, I may call upon your bitch ass to do me a motherfuckin’ favor. But for now, consider this a fuckin’ piece of generosity on the day of my daughter’s fuckin’ wedding.”
“You cannot fucking stain a motherfucking black coat.”
“And none for Gretchen motherfucking Weiners, bye.”
“My good fucking opinion, once lost, is lost forever, motherfucker.”
We must be as swift as the fucking cold river, with all the force of the badass typhoon, screw shit up like the goddamn fire, mysterious as the mutherfucking dark side of the motherfucking moon.
“I’M FLYING MOTHERFUCKERS!”
The wand chooses the god damn wizard motherfucker!
Mr. Kane was a man who got everything he wanted and then lost it. Maybe Motherfucker was something he couldn’t get, or something he lost. Anyway, it wouldn’t have explained anything; I don’t think any word can explain a man’s life. No, I guess Motherfucker is just a… piece in a jigsaw puzzle… a missing piece.”
“With great motherfucking power comes great motherfucking responsibility.”
“I will take the motherfucking ring to fucking Mordor.” [pause] “Though I do not know the motherfucking way.”
“I’m the mother fucking Doctor, bitch! I’m worse than everybody’s fucking aunt!”
“Pay no fucking attention to that motherfucker behind the curtain.”
One ring to rule those bitchasses, one ring to goddamn find them, one ring to bring all those motherfuckers and in darkness bind them.
“I’m gonna fucking steal the Declaration of Motherfucking Independence.”
“Your ass shouldn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, motherfucker.”
“Lemme tell you a riddle. Your ass is waitin for a train, a train that will take your ass far away. You know where you hope this motherfuckin train will take you, but you don’t motherfuckin know for goddamn sure. But it doesn’t motherfuckin matter. How the fuck can it not matter to you where the fuck this train takes your ass?”
“Fuckers assume that time is a fucking strict progression of motherfucking cause to motherfucking effect. But actually from a goddamned non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint it’s more like a big motherfucking ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey…goddamned stuff.”
Toto, I’ve got a goddamn feeling we ain’t in motherfucking Kansas no more.
One morning I shot a motherfucking elephant in my fucking pajamas. How the fuck it got there, I don’t motherfucking know.
This is motherfucking Sparta bitch!
Seven motherfucking minutes ago… we, your forefather motherfuckers, were brought forth upon a most motherfucking excellent adventure conceived by our new friends, Bill… and Ted. These two great motherfucking gentlemen are dedicated to a proposition which was true in my motherfucking time, just as it’s true today. Be motherfucking excellent to each other. And… MOTHERFUCKING PARTY ON, DUDES!
“As you goddamm wish.”
“I AM MOTHERFUCKING SPARTACUS.”
“No, *I* am motherfucking Spartacus.”
“One motherfuckin’ day more before the godamn storm. Will we ever, ever, for the love of a motherfucker in the storm, meet the fuck again?”
That motherfucker is like fucking fire and ice and shit. He’s like the motherfucking night and the storm and the heart of the goddamn sun. He’s ancient as shit and fucking forever. He fucking burns at the center of goddamn time and he can see the turn of the fucking universe. And that motherfucker is awesome as shit.
Guys Star wars happens “A long long time ago, In a galaxy Far Far away” Fury hasn’t been born yet in them.
Only if you assume that George Lucas was making a documentary. Otherwise for all we know the actual intended audience of the piece was Jack Harkness sitting around on Boeshane in the year 5122.
Also this seems to indicate a despicable lack of faith in the time travel abilities of Nick Fury.
Or that you think our current Nick Fury is not himself potentially a clone of the Furies that existed a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
…and now I am picturing Samuel L. Jackson as all three Greek Furies.
“We’re here for vengeance, motherfuckers!”
Either way, you’ll be receiving a visit from Director Fury shortly. I strongly suggest you have an explanation prepared.
Bless this post. My favorite is the Twilight.
I remember reblogging this post AGES ago and oh my God, IT GOT BETTER.